“History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.”

Maya Angelou

Different Therapies offered

What does counselling offer?

A safe and confidential setting where you will discuss, explore and understand your feelings and thoughts. With many trainings I draw on many different models depending on my clients. Along with traditional ‘talking therapy’ I can use different ways of allowing expression including Gestalt’s famous ‘Chair work’. I am also an EMDR trained Therapist so there is flexibility in how I work.

A therapeutic relationship drawing on our joint humanity, experience and understanding.

Support and constructive challenge which helps you explore difficult feelings/thoughts and discover new perspectives.

Enhanced awareness helping you to explore, recognise and accept more aspects of yourself.

Helps to improve the quality of relationships with important people in your life.

Increased self responsibility so that you understand more fully how you are the author of your life and how you can empower yourself to move forward with a sense of meaning and purpose.

What is couples counselling?

Intimate relationships are capable of giving much joy and also can be the cause of much unhappiness. Martin Buber says  ‘Our relationship lives in the space-in-between us which is sacred. The meaning is to be found neither in one of the two partners, nor in both together, but only in their dialogue itself, in this ‘between’ which they live together’

Couples work is the same as individual work except its function is to allow the couple to see what is happening in the relationship. To bring awareness to couples about the qualities that they have created in the space between them, which is their relationship.

Bringing the dynamics that were out of awareness into awareness allows them to be changed. The focus of the sessions is often how you communicate with each other, which builds a solid foundation from which you can resolve your difficulties. You will learn a way of communicating that enables you to talk about anything in a safe, respectful and empathetic way.

I work with heterosexual, same sex and cross cultural couples. Couples come to therapy for many different reasons :- infidelity, difficulty in communicating, feeling distant or having lost the vision for their relationship to name a few. Wherever you may find yourselves as a couple my intention is to support you both in a new way of being in your relationship.

I also offer ‘marathon couples sessions’ which works well for those unable to commit to weekly couples therapy. You can decide whether you would like an intensive four hour session or one that lasts for a whole day. This provides an intensive, condensed and highly focused approach to issues in your relationship enabling couples to move quickly through specific issues as well as learning new skills in a short period of time.We will look at what bought you together, practical tools for dissolving conflict and explore how to be your partner’s best friend, which in turn, allows for a new depth and passion in your connection to emerge.

With the divorce rate being as high as it is I also offer Marriage Preparation sessions. These sessions are designed to support couples considering getting married. The sessions include discussions on communication, how to resolve conflict, acknowledging differences, discovering your ‘Love Languages’, finances and sex.

What is psychosexual therapy?

Our sexuality is central to our identity as a person. Although our cultural mindset about sex focuses mainly on technique, research shows that a satisfying sexual relationship requires an integrated approach that uses both the physical and emotional connection. It is an area of our life that we rarely talk about and yet an area that can raise significant problems. Sex therapy is a specialized area incorporating a professional and ethical treatment approach to problems of a sexual nature. Both couples and individuals may find themselves in need of psychosexual therapy for many different reasons. Examples of some of the psychosexual issues I work with :- women with vaginismus, dyspareunia, anorgasmia and loss of desire, as well as body issues, virginity and sexual abuse. I work with men experiencing erectile difficulties, retarded ejaculation, premature ejaculation, performance anxiety as well as loss of desire, sexual identity issues, porn addiction and out of control sexual behaviour.

What is conflict resolution?

Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. After all, two people cannot be expected to agree on everything, all of the time. Learning how to deal with conflict, rather than avoiding it, is crucial. When conflict is mishandled it can cause distress and harm to a relationship, but when handled in a respectful, positive way conflict can provide the opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people. Conflict arises from differences, both large and small. It occurs whenever people disagree over their values, motivations, perceptions, ideas or desires. Sometimes these differences can appear trivial, but when a conflict triggers strong feelings, a deep personal need is often found to be at the core of the problem. As conflict triggers strong emotions we need to be aware that if handled in an unhealthy manner it can cause irreversible rifts, resentments and relationship break-ups.

Effective communication is essential to a good relationship as it increases our understanding of one another, builds trust and strengthens our relationships. Good communication skills may not solve problems or resolve issues, but without communication nothing will be solved or changed.

Communication is received both verbally and non verbally and is vital for all relationships. Most people are unaware that the much of the information exchanged during conflict is often communicated non verbally whether it be by facial expressions, body posture, gestures or tone of voice.

We often don’t realise how little we listen as we are instead listening to our own internal responses and defenses, which keeps us from being fully present whilst another is talking. Good communication requires us to be able to fully hear the message that our partner/friend or family member is sending so that they feel heard. The feeling of being heard is deeply healing for whoever is speaking and allows the listener to gain a greater understanding of another’s point of view. Agreement is not necessary. It is not about making one person ‘wrong’ or ‘right’ but giving space to be able to listen and accurately understand not only what is being said but what he or she means which deepens your connection and allieviates future conflict.

If you feel stuck in a particular relationship, whether it be with your partner, a member of your family or friend and want to have a third party facilitate a difficult conversation or help with conflict resolution, I am skilled at being able to help.

What is Soul Midwifery?

It is difficult to think of a more intensely emotional and stressful time than when someone is facing his or her decline and eventual death. It is not always easy to talk to someone who is dying. Conversations about future plans and wishes may appear insensitive and cause great pain and distress especially when it is with someone we love. As a result the D word becomes the elephant in the room. I believe we need to get over our fear of talking about dying. As a result I have undergone a training to become a Soul Midwife as I want to be able to contribute to end-of-life care after illness is diagnosed and treatments begin, during advanced illness and the dying process, and after the death of the patient, with bereaved survivors.

Soul Midwives are holistic and spiritual companions to anyone at the end of their life. They draw on traditional skills, now largely forgotten, applying them to our modern world to lovingly ease the passage of the dying, and to ensure that their death is a dignified and peaceful experience. This service is used within people’s own homes, in hospices and care homes. Soul Midwives can work from the point of diagnosis all the way through to death, and any stage in between. I offer practical, physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual support and assistance for both the person dying and family members depending on what is needed. I can be of service through the various stages whether it be in the pre-active stage of death when someone is still fairly well and able to make decisions about death planning. During the various stages of dying I can offer encouragement and assistance to resolve issues and overcome fears. In the active dying stage or at point of death I can help create a sacred space along with gentle therapies to comfort, relax and ease pain. For carers this time can often be particularly challenging and isolating and my desire is to offer both the person dying as well as their loved ones support at any stage during this process.

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    Telephone: 07969 787355

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