Thoughts & Ideas

Trauma & Therapy

I was privileged to be asked to work yesterday with a group who had been directly involved in the recent terrorist attack in Borough Market. With one of my specialities being that of a Trauma Therapist, I am continuously reminded of the resilience of the human spirit and how, sometimes it is out of the most horrific situations the most […]

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Understanding Transference In Relationships

Transference is a dynamic that most couples are unaware of and when I work with couples it is something that we explore that most find useful. www.thebookoflife.org explains perfectly how transference plays out in relationships.
‘You’re flicking through a fashion magazine and playfully suggest that your partner might want to make a few experiments with their wardrobe. How about a different […]

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A letter from a father to a son – Ted Hughes to his son Nicholas

Dear Nick,

I hope things are clearing. It did cross my mind, last summer, that you were under strains of an odd sort. I expect, like many another, you’ll spend your life oscillating between fierce relationships that become tunnel traps, and sudden escapes into wide freedom when the whole world seems to be just there for the taking. Nobody’s solved it. […]

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Couples workshop in September 2016

I am excited to announce that myself and a colleague will be holding a couples workshop on the 17th – 18th September in Richmond, London. This workshop will be non residential and for a maximum of five couples. The purpose of the workshop is to give couples an opportunity to take some time out of their busy lives and look […]

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Shall We Talk?

In our society fewer and fewer people grow up seeing a strong relationship modelled between their own parents and so it comes as no surprise that it is not because of incompatibility that many marriages break down, but because the couple have no idea what it takes to make their relationship work.

As a relationship therapist I am often astonished when […]

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How motherhood challenges us to let go of control and love unconditionally

In a Bill Plotkin workshop many years ago, I recall him saying that ” there are two kinds of spiritual practice, one is parenting and the other is everything else!” It took me a while to understand what he meant. But then I got it.

As a mum of six children now adults, I recognise the parts of me touched where […]

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How does your survival suit impact your relationships?

What I have come to learn from my work with couples is that what often disconnects us is our reactive survival dance. Each of us has learnt a way of protecting ourselves that is rather like putting on a survival suit.  Some of us resemble a turtle by our behaviour of withdrawing from difficult conversations or conflict. Others like an […]

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Why don’t more people talk about sex and grief?

Katrina Taee broaches the topic that so many counsellors/therapists find hard to do – Sex & Grief.

She writes :-
‘I think most people would agree that sex appears to be everywhere these days. It’s on book shelves in newsagents, on television, in popular books (think 50 Shades of Grey), at the movies, in magazines and all over the internet at the […]

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The truth about ‘boarding school syndrome’

Wendy Leigh writes on the lifelong effect of being sent away from home, aged 10.

‘The nightmares come more often these days, but lose nothing of their intricacy for their increase in frequency.

They all begin on a cold morning in 1968, when I am 12 years old and standing on the platform at Charing Cross Station, surrounded by a gaggle of […]

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Sometimes picking up the phone to book a first therapy appointment is the hardest part.

‘Many of my clients talk about how they had wanted to be in therapy long before making their first appointment. All sorts of things got in the way. Hoping things would magically get better, shame of admitting the need for help, fear of what would be unearthed, concern about what others would think, imagining that it would take for ever, […]

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